Fear Of Living Homepage

Question: How do i get over my fear to live and be happy not be affaird of dying?

(Posted by: april.ziel on 2008-07-22 09:16:34)

It sounds rediculous and paranoid but I can't relax and enjoy my life because I always wake up with this insaciable feeling to hate myself. I can't open up and grow into my own because my mind stops me. I feed on insecurities and can't just let go, and I fear once I do let go I'll fall. I've never met anyone else with these feelings. So I feel really alone... I don't like to share it because I see others happy and I want that happiness around me and within me. But my hands shake and my stomach hurts I'll eat even to close of my mind... and fight a battle with myself I know I can't win. I just want to live and not regret everything I do. How does one learn to stop judging themselves and just enjoy being on this earth?

Posted by: 44 Paws on 2008-07-22, 09:23:22

You need to see a professional not yahoo

Posted by: SuzieQ100375 on 2008-07-22, 09:26:04

Contact your local United Way or YMCA/ YWCA or hospitals to find out about support groups that are meeting in your area. You need to talk to someone. "Do not fear death but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live. " 'Tuck Everlasting'

Posted by: Kat G on 2008-07-22, 09:32:37

How does one learn to stop judging themselves - we don't, but we learn that all of us are in the same boat. You see other people happy. What you see are snippets of moments, and the one you saw was when they were happy. You didn't see them afterward when they got all sad. And you didn't see them moments before when they were really anxious. Everyone really feels some version of what you feel, and they try and make it through the day by doing something, anything that makes them feel good - and then they laugh, because honestly, laughing feels better than anything, including sex. The mind is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can be a critic, and that critic can be mean. The critic is analytical, but it is one-sided. It can't appreciate how pretty the sky is, or how pretty flowers are, or colors, or watching something fun, or even having fun. The mind should have a switch that you can turn on and off to use when you want. But since it doesn't, the only way to turn it off is to do something it is not interested in - going to a movie, noticing pretty things, laughing. You can do those things by yourself. But I have to recommend that you find just one way to open up to a friend - that analyst won't like that so it may just shut up for awhile. You want to live, yes you do most certainly. It's why you're here, so you need to start living, and you are going to have to put a sock in the words your mind is telling you. Just try silencing it for a bit and see how that feels, then do some more. Find something to laugh about today as a first step. Then find something tomorrow, and the day after - see what comes. If this helps, the actress Bette Midler in an interview said that everyone is just one moment away from tears. She's right you know.

Posted by: Marissa G on 2008-07-22, 09:33:06

Hey i have similar thought patterns...the self loathing, and self sabatoge...a big part of this is that u probably feel that the dark stuff and the hateing yourself is your comfort zone...and by that i dont mean that u like it...im just saying that that is what u are used to, and getting better and being happy can ironically seem scary...But there is no question that u do want to be happy, cuz u clearly do...but don't rush urself or ur gonna fall on ur ass over and over...i would just take one step at a time...and i suggest possibly getting guidence from a therapist...if u dont have one already...its prolly a good idea... good luck and i hope u find happiness! marissa ^_^

Posted by: gkf7116 on 2008-07-22, 09:33:45

Your not alone on that one. your porb. just going through depression. I'm completely depressed and i only think about the negetavies in my life and it kills me. i always put myself down, and don't appreciate what i have. so don't feel alone on this, because its not only me and you, but a lot of other people think the same way. I haven't found a way to make it stop, but knowing that someone else thinks the same way comforts me, so i know I'm not crazy. its depression. sucks, and i also get paranoid. i tried to go to a therapist, he perscribed some medicine for it, but i would forget to take it then binge on it cus i wanted... to die. <weird to admit. but im a lot better now. and i got better a little because i just tried to ignore myself when i would start thinking bad things

Posted by: dj on 2008-07-22, 09:34:05

I used to have those feelings so stringly that I turned to drugs & alcohol-- which almost killed me. The only "cure " I know is to seek a better spiritual life. The Twelve Step programs call it developing a relationship with God, though for years I did it as an agnostic, so knowing God is not essential. What IS essential is seeking the Truth outside ourselves, however that appears to us. If you're religious, great-- but clearly there's something lacking or you wouldn't be experiencing those feelings. This is not about religion, it's about spiritual actions (though all religions teach these actions, very few adherents practice them regularly). I'm now 23 years sober and my life has never been better. I'm not afraid of living or dying. I'm married 5 years in the best relationship I've ever had. But I couldn't do this without guidance. I have a sponsor in AA, and I've sought help from therapists and other mental health professionals over the years. Whether it's from religion or health professionals or a 12-Step program, get help. Because this is not something we can fix ourselves.

Posted by: $\|/33tB@yb\| on 2008-07-22, 09:35:01

Okay. not everyone is ALWAYS happy with themselves so dont feel as if your alone all the time. Remember that God put you on this earth for a purpose, you can do so much good without even realizing it. and to get over the fear of wanting to die, i would recommend you to try to be more happy, like do the things you always wanted to try...or hang out with your friends more often, or talk to your family every once in a while. TV really helps too.... you could watch stand up comedy shows and just relax. Also, you could go to the beach and relax for a bit. Maybe your lacking some sleep, that is reason for why you may be feeling a bit paranoid. If none of this works, i would suggest yout to please seek a professional for help. Take care and stay healthy. = ] good luck.

Posted by: wldchldwoman on 2008-07-22, 09:44:49

Find Jesus and know who he is and who he is in your life and wants for your life. He does not give us a spirit of fear!!! you can call out to him right where you are and say what ever you need to say he will show you the way and give you a peace far beyond what you are feeling now. GOD BLESS AND PRAYERS!